10 types of Students You’ll meet in University
By Manik Rege
Reading Time: 7 minutes
At this time tomorrow, I’ll be a fresh graduate, all set to make my mark in the world. Obviously, I’m super-excited to see Ma yell, applaud, and embarrass me as I waltz onto the stage to collect the certificate.
But I’d be lying if I said I’m not equally nervous as I am thrilled about my future, and the new challenges it has in store. There are just so many choices to make, and aplenty more expectations to decide on the right ones…it’s scary, ya know.
The only thought that’s comforting me right now is knowing that even if I take the wrong steps, and even if I stray from my path, I’ll always have my small yet sweet circle of true friends to guide me back home.
So as we fight for the last pizza slice, and toast our beers to university life, I reflect on the craziest types of friends who I’ll never forget from my three years on these buzzing campus grounds…
1. The Hopeless Romantic
You might run out of drive space keeping track of all his crushes because he falls for a new one, every ‘single’ day (pun intended). The poor cute fella in desperate need of a hug, this young Romeo’s courting attempts are a hilarious delight to watch.
But be warned- along with the sweet shayaris before the proposal, you’ll also have to hear some serious salty sobbing that comes after rejection. The glum phase will only last for an hour or two, though, because he’ll surely spot another target in no time, and you’ll be back in a new Juliet’s pursuit.
2. The Besharam Bhukkad
Most people eat to live. Then there are those who live to eat. Our ever-and-always hungry Kumbhakarna has an appetite that’s larger than life. Whenever there’s a new restaurant opening in town, you’ll probably spot her signing up for the Gold membership card. With a coffee mug in one hand and a cheese roll (the legal one) in another, she’ll be munching on all things edible, throughout the day.
Although she’s good company for culinary adventures, we strongly advise against joining her at weddings, galas or any place with free food- because if you do, you might have to pretend to not know the big bear who just gobbled up three plates of the appetizers all by herself, and was spotted charging in for the main course.
3. The Great Khali
At the other end of the ‘fitness spectrum’ is the super-health-conscious gym freak, urging you to choose whey shakes and coleslaw over Miss Bhukkad’s sinful frappuccinos and loaded fries. Although he has the best interests at heart, his constant advice on weight loss and healthy living might be too heavy to lift at times, especially for those of us who barely manage to get out of bed.
What starts with a light jog at five in the morning and ends with an abs drill at eight in the night, his intense routine will make you wonder- “Itna energy laate kahase ho tum log?” Regardless of whether you feel motivated to follow his low-carb, whole-food, organic vegan diet, or you simply choose to hire him as a bodyguard-cum-wingman, having a hot hunk in the squad certainly ups your chances of getting more winks and fewer slaps.
4. The “Chal, Daaru Pite Hai” Dost
This party animal and her stash of booze do come in handy after failures, rejections, or embarrassments. But as you drink to the good life, just ensure that your parents don’t find out about the ‘bigdi hui laundi’ who’s spoiling their ‘saanskaari kid.’
Crazy yet caring at heart, she’s the best person to sip your first sip (and chug) with because you can completely rely on her to drag you back to the hostel room in case you pass out…although we’re pretty sure she’ll snap a stack of embarrassing photos to roast you for eternity.
5. The Samaj Sevak
Didn’t attend class? Exams giving you the heebie-jeebies? There’s nothing to fear, Mrs. Chatur Ramalingam is here. This time, however, she’s a humble chap willing to help, and word is, she knows Hindi pretty well.
She’ll teach you the main concepts the night before the test, willingly take the lead in group projects, and end up doing most of the work (not fair, lazy bums!) as you try to find the motivation you left back in your last life.
Armed with an arsenal of detailed notes, neatly filed lecture slides, and half a dozen pink post-its meshed to every page of a colorfully highlighted textbook (yes, he actually bought it!), Miss smarty pants is your Godsent gift for surviving Satan, I meant, your professor.
If you know a philanthropist who fits the description above, you should thank your lucky stars and give her a big smooch…along with the notes you borrowed from her decades ago.
6. The Sweethearts
These two lovebirds are living proof that soulmates do exist. Their romantic aura makes the world feel like a beautiful place worthy of hope and trust. But they might get a little too cozy at times, shamelessly making out behind the library racks, and then openly boasting about their physical escapades (It’s damn annoying. Get a room, you gaais!).
Although it’s adorable to watch them say the sweetest things about each other on anniversaries and double dinner dates, being too close to the cute couple might pull you right into the middle of the drama when they’re going through a rough patch or a breakup sombré.
Hopefully, the sweet valentines will get back together and let us all live happily ever after.
7. The Kabir Thapar
This cute hippie is all about road trips, deep meaningful talks, and polaroids under the stars. Other friends might cancel the Goa trip time and again but if you’re traveling with this curious trekker, you’ll get to camp out every other weekend and vacay.
With an ambition to tour the world and a wild head full of philosophical questions that’ll give you an existential crisis for sure, our thinking traveler is someone you’ll remember way down the line- thanks to his magnetism, thirst for adventure, and genuine charm.
Even if you forget, his endless Instagrams of all the places he took you to see will keep you company long after your golden days are gone.
8. The Gadget Guru
From game torrents to laptop upgrades, our screen specialist will make your life damn easy, or at least pass on enough ‘illegal content’ (hey, we don’t judge) to forget about all your miseries and woes.
Whenever you or anyone in your family is buying anything that works on sparks, you’ll probably call him up to ask for expert advice.
But when he starts rambling about specs, gigabytes and *insert big technical term here,* you’ll wish you had just gone with the cheapest option in the store.
9. The Next Ambani (a.k.a Bade Log)
While you were busy eating crayons and playing EA Cricket games, this baby genius was pitching startup ideas to Zuckerberg, Buffet, and Gates.
While you were obsessing over Marvel’s latest and waiting for your high school crush to reply, he was busy being way too productive for his age- attending interschool debates, representing the nation in UN councils, consulting for billionaires, designing artificial intelligence, and making retirement plans at fifteen.
Ambitious, enterprising, scarily creative, and a natural people-pleaser at heart, he can sell you a broken toothbrush for 50 bucks, and keep you coming back for more.
With a sharp eye for spotting opportunities, an unparalleled determination for following through, and business knowledge flowing in his bloodstream, he’s one of those lucky few who are just born to see, sell, and shine.
You can only keep marveling at his success and pray, “Star ban jaaoge tab doston ko bhul mat jaana ha!”
10. The Sleeping Beauty
“Wait, what were we talking about again? Sorry, I just took a l’ill nap!” No matter how noisy, uncomfortable, or bright the room might be, this perpetually sleepy panda can snooze literally anywhere, anytime. Her showing up in class is a rare celestial event, and her being awake to answer the professor’s questions, is an even rarer one.
She has tried coffee, tea, lime juice, and even bourvita but nothing seems to drive away her eternal craving for a soft snuggly bed. Her cell phone has more alarms than contact numbers, and they’re all rigged to ring at 5-minute intervals…but they’ll probably be snoozed for another five because…priorities!
Talking about priorities, my friends might have had (and do have) different goals, views, and interests but I think that’s what made the group so special- each of us completed a part of the picture in our own unique way. Instead of letting our differences divide us, we embraced them, cherished them, and vowed to learn whatever we had to offer.
I’m thankful I met these crazy people because they’re the ones who made university life a challenging yet exciting experience. After all, GPAs, resumes, and paychecks will keep changing shades but what’ll stay are the true friendships you’ve made along the way…